The hurricane of
accusations against famous men, including some much-admired figures from
entertainment and politics, gives the impression that most men are hiding
histories of molestation, harassment, pedophilia, or even rape. The effect this
windstorm is to paint the majority of
men as brutal and bestial. I have lived for 78 years and I have never
known a friend or acquaintance whom I would suspect of any such behavior.
Let us start with
my father. Perhaps he was better than most men, but he was the first man I ever
knew and he was as humane and decent a man as this world produces. I have tried
throughout my life to pattern myself after my father, but he was too kind,
loving, honest, and faithful a man to copy. I have three brothers, and each of
them, in his own way, has modeled his life after my father. It is beyond human
credibility to imagine that any of them would ever be a sexual predator.
Over the decades
of my life as an attorney I have made many friends drawn from the law firms and
professional ranks of New York, Connecticut, and Ohio. Sure I have heard
locker-room talk, but never the kind admitted to by Donald Trump on Access Hollywood. No friend or
acquaintance I have ever known has bragged of non-consensual sex with a woman,
especially someone underage. I have never heard a friend or acquaintance speak
of sexual interest in someone underage. The only such confessions I have ever
heard have been by criminal defendants.
I feel a great
deal of respect and admiration for those brave women who have come forward to
expose the male predators who apply their power to debase and humiliate
innocent female victims. Those predatory entertainers should all be fired and
the politicians should resign or be impeached. Many of such men should go to
jail.
It is a matter of
concern, however, that some men are caught-up in the whirlwind for the most
minor offenses. I am thinking particularly of former president George H.W.
Bush. The minor pats, in front of his wife, by an old man in a wheelchair,
should not be the cause of an outcry. His distinctive leadership of this
country should earn him a little slack.
I go back to the life of my late beloved
father. He once phoned me at the office, and while talking to the receptionist
he called her “Dear.” She rebuked him for using that term and told this good
and gentle old man that he was a “male chauvinist pig.” My father was not used
to being spoken to in this manner and was quite shaken by it. He apologized to
the receptionist. The next time I saw him he was in tears speaking of the
rebuke. He was not a man of the modern world, and did not understand that there
were new rules of discourse. Even now that I am an old man, my heart is heavy
thinking about that incident.
I feel it is
important that we remember that not all men are pigs. Most men, as they
struggle through this harsh world, try to behave decently. We must be careful
not to let good honest men like George H.W. Bush and my father be swept-up in
this tempest of accusation.
