Republicans' Pathetic Tea Parties

"At any rate I'll never go there again!' said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!'" Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Today, April 15, Republican groups all over the country will be gathering in what they call “Tea Parties” to express opposition to the Obama Administration and to its liberal programs. My question is: will there be room at the table for Alice?

We should not forget that the Republicans who are organizing these Tea Parties represent a small minority of the electorate. President Obama and the Democrats won a major victory against these conservatives last November, and polls show that the President currently has overwhelming support among the people. So who are these sore losers who are so unhappy at having a liberal, bi-racial, Democratic president? They are Republicans, and their little Tea Parties are not spontaneous protests. They were planned and organized months ago.

The sick thing about these little get-togethers is that they may attract other truly disaffected, disgruntled, and marginal people in our society, including the militia types, the tax resistors, and the laid-off workers who are thinking about taking their guns and shooting some people. The reason the Republicans organized these “Tea Parties” was to do more than just memorialize Lewis Carroll. They wanted to show a revolutionary spirit akin to the spirit of the Sons of Liberty who dumped British tea into Boston Harbor in 1773.

You can get a good idea of the political underpinnings of the tea parties by the people who are promoting them and who plan to attend. Fox News anchors Neil Cavuto (the Dormouse?) and Sean Hannity (the March Hare?) have signed-on with tea parties in Sacramento and Atlanta, and Newt Gingrich (definitely the Mad Hatter) plans to attend a tea party in New York. House Republican Gasbag John Boehner urged Republican congressmen to get involved in the movement. Local conservative Republican congressman Jim Jordan says he plans to attend the Tea Party in Dayton.

What do these protesters want? They will be protesting bailouts for the banks and auto companies, stimulus for the economy, the President’s budget, and liberal spending programs. The question is, do they want to bring back the policies of the Bush Administration? Are they protesting taxes? President Obama has lowered the taxes of everybody making less than $250,000 per year; that's 95% of the American people. Do they want more tax cuts for wealthy people, continued inaction on global warming, continued despoilment of our environment by big corporate polluters, continued deregulation of the securities and banking industries, exorbitant health care costs with 47 million uninsured, privatization of Social Security and Medicare, more unemployment, more foreclosures, and more economic collapse? Is that what they want?

Last November, after a long campaign in which an electrifying Democratic candidate called for fundamental change, and conservative Republicans pressed for tax breaks for the rich, continuance of the Iraqi War, and stagnation in the face of the worst economic recession since the 1930s, the nation chose the Democrat. Now those Republicans who were defeated are taking to the streets, pressing their sorry programs despite the terrible failure of those programs for the past eight years. Last November they had their chance to continue their lousy management of our country, but the people said NO!

It will not be hard to attract people to these little Tea Parties. Over 50 million people voted for John McCain last November, and although millions of them have switched their support to President Obama, I’m sure that there are still a few of them left who support Republicans’ sour grapes and obstructionism. But the tea partiers are a pathetic group of Mad Hatters, Dormice, and March Hares, trying insanely to reverse history. No matter how noisy, passionate, or fervent these conservatives are, their little Tea Parties will not bring back the days of Bush in Wonderland.